“…welcome to the Perfectionism Club: the place where we drive ourselves relentlessly, only to find we’re still not good enough.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
Welcome back to book club friends!
I have been so excited to read this book since announcement over a year ago. Delays with Trafalgar Square Books led to its ultimate release May 19th of this year. I wasted no time. My preorder (preordered many months prior) was delayed due to issues with the publisher’s ability to remain organized, so I ordered a copy from Amazon and received it in a day.
Her first book changed my life, and then I had the opportunity to meet her at a banquet. I organized a clinic at our farm hosting her in September 2024, and again in September 2025. Through 2025 I organized monthly riding lesson days with her on our farm and I was able to train with her in Aiken this past February. I am so lucky to call her one of my trainers and I can’t wait until Aiken 2027. I’m talking about Andrea Monsarrat Waldo of course.
In May Andrea released her second book, The Imperfect Ride: Your Guide to Being Better By Not Trying to be the Best. This paperback book is 224 pages and laid out in 8 chapters across three parts.
You can get your copy directly here at Trafalgar Square books!
Before we dive into The Imperfect Ride, I want to put one more plug out there for the first book if you haven’t yet read it. The Sunday Review: Brain Training For Riders by Andrea Monsarrat Waldo was a book that helped me overcome a lot of fear and anxiety in my riding. Fear of falling, failure, you name it. Andrea’s writing and techniques transformed me so that I could step into the world of eventing with my horse Nahe and have fun instead of keeping myself small and running into the same problems and going nowhere. The book is great for riders of all disciplines and the lessons learned can transcend to other parts of life.
Now back to the CURRENT book!
The moment I opened The Imperfect Ride I heard Andrea’s voice. It was almost like I was with her again. In a clinic. In a lesson. At dinner talking about our day. I consider myself very lucky to call her my trainer and during my time learning under her I’ve been lucky enough to have heard a couple of the stories and facts, too, so that made it even more real for me.
Particularly hearing her recite the late Jimmy Wofford’s line, “It’s simple, it’s just not easy.” I find myself repeating that line so many times in my riding. Keeping my hands steady, keeping my upper body still, keeping the aids clear, using the inside leg to outside rein…it’s simple, it’s just not easy.
Andrea’s voice is succinct, knowledgeable, friendly, and contains a generous dose of humor. The flow of the book makes it easy to read and follow along. The writing is also very transparent. Andrea comes forward with discussing her own experiences and struggles with perfectionism. She allows herself to be vulnerable…to be human, making the book feel exactly as it should. She’s walked the walk…and continues to do so…and it makes her more interesting, more real, and more of an authority on the subject.
“Perfectionism still rides shotgun with me and tried to grab the wheel—or in this case, the reins—whenever it thinks I’m going to mess up. There are some days when Perfectionism and I reach a truce, and some days when we’re at war.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
In the first part of The Imperfect Ride Andrea dissects what perfectionism really is. She breaks down different types of perfectionism and how it appears in our lives. Perfectionism can be self-oriented, other-oriented, or socially prescribed. She identifies the different types of perfectionists: classic, productivity, positive, procrastination, or the social (or the combination of several).
Personally, I know that I am a productivity perfectionist, but I have also swerved into the realms of the other types quite a bit. Online I try to be non-stop positive, so there’s a bit of positivity perfectionist. I am never satisfied with my riding so I have never moved up levels because “there’s still so much to improve” before allowing myself to do x, y, and z—> Procrastination Perfectionist. I hate saying no to people…whether it’s a friend, a boss, or a customer looking for jump sets to be done on a very tight time frame (for my abilities). As a result of trying to meet everyone’s demands I end up losing sleep and taking the hit to my stress, sanity, and sacrifice my mental, emotional, and physical well-being just to make others happy; often failing to ride my horse and practicing self-care—>social perfectionist.
“You are the One Who Gets Things Done, and you’re understandably proud of that!
You are also tired. Very, very, tired.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
Once we can name the types of perfectionism and properly identify where it surfaces in our lives we move on to Part II. In this second section of The Imperfect Ride Andrea Waldo begins to break perfectionism down to allow us to “Fight Back” against it. First, Andrea debunks several lies that perfectionism has created in our lives. For each lie she breaks down the reality in a methodical and/or scientific way. She gives up rational reasoning to let go of these lies in our daily life.
One of these lies that really resonated with me was “How you do anything is how you do everything.” What a relief it is to give yourself permission to not sweat the small stuff! I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten down on myself because I wasn’t disciplined enough to do a few minor things (name any activity in my life) and the self-hate took away from the fact that I DID THE THING. I thought wow “I’m so lazy, that person is so much better…”
Andrea also begins to pave the way for us to “Take Back The Reins” from perfectionism. This chapter challenges us to shift our worldview, identify our values, and create our own narrative. This is a serious chapter in putting in the self-work.
The Imperfect Ride finishes with Part III: Finding Freedom. The chapters hear feed from “Taking Back the Reins.” In “Unlocking the Cage” we are guided with several steps and exercises to work through as we break free from our perfectionist thinking.
We learn about the Messy Middle; I wish I had read this when I posted my article, Messy Middles but I hadn’t made it to this chapter in the book yet! Andrea most definitely covers the topic so much better and more eloquently. She reassured us that messy middles are required for both humans AND for horses too. I hadn’t thought about this for the horse before; while I get that horses are learning the idea of working through not one but two different messy middles (mine and Stanley’s) makes me feel a whole lot better about the whole process. Andrea manages to make the messy middle seem appealing.
“But the good news is that the Messy Middle is unavoidable for everyone. You’re not struggling because you’re not a good rider, you’re struggling because struggle is required to become a good rider.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
We finally finish the book discussing the whole point of it all. We examine the purpose behind why we ride and what we want out of it. We identify joy and fulfillment and try to remember that when we’re out there struggling and forgetting to love it. It’s a whole new reality check to remind ourselves that we ride to bring ourselves joy and happiness.
“I think we often mute our joy because instinctively we know that letting in joy means letting in losses, too.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
If I’m being honest, I have almost quit a number of times because I lost sight of my “why.” Riding became more of a chore, it felt hopeless, expensive, and stressful. I questioned why I should keep going so many times…and that’s a terrible feeling. This book helped me check in and remind me why I choose riding and to stop being so serious all the time. It helped me learn to go for a hack ride and just smile and ride instead of harping on doing this transition perfectly or obtaining suppleness (Captain Obvious to Point Out that I got more suppleness once I relaxed, smiled, and started having some fun).
“One caveat: you might be reading this and thinking, I used to get Type B fun from my riding, but now it just feels like work all the time—there’s no fulfillment in it, just the feeling that there’s always something I’m doing wrong. If this is your experience, you may not need more fulfillment. You probably need some Type A fun in your life!”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
Final Word:
Once again Andrea Monsarrat Waldo has created a book that I can whole-heartedly say that EVEYONE needs to read. I feel that many of us struggle with perfectionism in one way or another. If you don’t then you are lucky, and you most certainly know people who DO struggle with it. Learning to identify the perfectionism and take an active role in reframing the mind takes a lot of work. It takes rewiring a lot of the ways that we operate on a day-to day basis. Andrea Waldo is an expert, and she admits that she is constantly working through her own perfectionism.
This book provides a phenomenal starting point and guide for finding freedom and doing so on your own terms. Terms that you can live with and adapt to. Terms that can adapt to your needs. Because why?
Because “The Rules Are Made Up.”
I recommend this book for all riders. Young riders. Old Riders. Non-riders. I recommend it for everyone. Society has created a world that rewards perfectionism, but it comes at great cost to us and our sanity. Why not learn to make our lives feel more meaningful while we’re here instead of staying trapped?
“I don’t know about you, but I’m done putting my own enjoyment last, and I’m done treating my riding mistakes as something I need to go to confession for. I want to settle myself into the saddle and feel the pure joy I felt as a little girl at my first riding lesson.”
― Andrea Monsarrat Waldo: The Imperfect Ride
Trafalgar Square Books is the publishing group for this read. You can purchase it directly from them or from other more reliable sources like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop and more.
Published by Trafalgar Square Books, an imprint of the Stable Book Group
32 Court Street Suite 2109 Brooklyn, NY 11201
If you have any questions, comments, or would like further information, please contact:
trafalgar@stablebookgroup.com
The Green Horseman 
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