Kain’s recent diagnosis of oral cancer had us coping with the fact that his time is more limited than we hoped.
We tried supplementing but nothing was going to give us the miracle we prayed for.
Inevitably, Kain progressed to a phase where he no longer was enjoying life. He was no longer interested in food and slept most of the time. We called a local office that specialized in In-Home euthanasia and scheduled to have them visit to help him cross the Rainbow Bridge.
It’s been over a week and I’m still struggling to write about it without sobbing. I’ve only just stopped crying when we go to bed. So, instead of writing about the dark hole he was left in our lives, I want to tell you about the best cat that has ever lived.
In December 2012 I decided I needed a cat. I had moved out of the apartment I shared with my ex and I had been in the current apartment for several months. I had met Zac at this point but we were just mostly talking and seeing each other at kickboxing. We had maybe been out together twice.
It was a Sunday, and the local shelter was closed, so I drove an hour to another one. I needed a cat that day, something told me to do it.
As I entered the shelter my eyes first laid upon a 2 year old buff colored large long-haired cat sleeping alone in the crate. I made my way along the line of crates and read about each and every cat. There was a room filled with kittens, as a reasonable human I entered the room and socialized with the kittens. A little orange cat kept jumping on me saying “pick me, pick me!”
Before I brought the cute little orange kitty home I asked to sit with that buff colored cat. We went into a small caged area where I could sit and get to know him. He trembled with anxiety. There were dogs barking in the background and people milling about. He didn’t pay much attention to me due to the anxiety and terror but my gut said this is the one.
As I waited in line at the counter to request to adopt Kain I saw a family eying him. I had a pit in my stomach that wanted to tell the family to go away, he needed to come with me. I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
I talked to the clerk and not only was he available but I was approved and thanks to local meteorologist and animal lover Steve Caporizzo, the adoption fees were waived. I made my donation and Kain and I drove home.
It was instant love. He settled in and seen became my fierce and fuzzy protector. Zac visited and despite being a lover of cats, Kain asserted his dominance. He pooed on the floor in front of his pristine box the moment he came through the door one day. He also had no qualms with playing rough and biting Zac. I, on the other hand, could do anything to this cat. If he was annoyed and bothered he would faux bite me but never make much contact. Definitely never broke skin.
He got cooler and cooler. He loved jingle balls and would play fetch with me over and over again in that apartment. I’d throw the ball, he’d run to get it and emit little muffled meows as he returned with the ball in his mouth.
He also learned how to high five.
There wasn’t a mean bone in Kain’s body, and in all the time he was with me I only have 2 stories of Kain breaking skin…and they were hysterical memories.
One day I had Zac over. We were climbing into bed and I climbed in from the foot of the bed. I was on all fours on the bed when I felt two paws on either side of me and 4 little teeth sink into my butt-cheek. The little sh** hunted me like a lion to a zebra in the Savannah! The next day I had a bruise and 4 little punctures on my cheek. It didn’t hurt but it made for a great laugh.
Another time Zac was getting up to get to work for 6AM. I laid on my stomach on the edge of the bed for him to leave. Kain was next to the bed looking at me. We held each other’s gaze for a few seconds and out of nowhere he “skippity-bapped” me across the face. He caught me by surprise so I just laughed and laughed. I had a streak down the side of my face. The cut wasn’t deep and didn’t hurt so I wasn’t worried.
Other than these two incidents, I can’t remember a single other time he was naughty.
He also grew to love Zac in no time…but for a while he loved being my main man. He realized that having mom AND dad was a great deal too.
Kain loved food. He was easy to train to high five because he was so food motivated.
One day I was home alone and enjoying a dinner for shrimp cocktail and a glass of Riesling. Kain being a big guy, could stand on his hind legs and reach the top of the tray table. He took a shrimp and ran. I chased him down and he growled a primal growl. He wanted his shrimp. I took it back but ended up letting him have it later on my terms.
Another day Zac and I were both enjoying dinner and ordered Chinese food. I like to break my egg roll in half to get my duck sauce in there. I finished one half and looked down. “Hey Zac, did you see me eat the other half of my egg roll?” I have a tendency to mindlessly eat so it wouldn’t be surprising if I had eaten it and forgotten.
Then we realized Kain wasn’t begging. He wasn’t to be seen. We found him in the next room over guarding his half of the eggroll.
Anything we ate, he requested a sample.
One day Zac and I wanted to do something different and decided to play poker. Kain came over and we dealt him in. I think he even won a round before he got wild and jumped on the ottoman we were using as a table.
In his older years he was still food motivated and playful, but less so. He was a true kindred spirit. I don’t know that I’ve had a deeper connection with ANY other creature than I did with Kain. He knew when I was happy, sad, sick, or in pain.
When I told him it was time for bed there he’d be following me upstairs. He laid on my pillow wrapped around my head as I fell asleep. In the morning he’d be on Zac’s legs but he always waited until I fell asleep.
When I was in pain he showed extra affection, would not leave my side except for the bathroom and food.
Losing Kain has been a truly deep and profound loss. He was ready, but we weren’t. It was our final gift to him to prevent him from any further pain and suffering.
I am grateful that I had him in our lives. Grateful for In the Comfort of Home who came to us to allow him to move on in peace and with dignity at home. I am grateful that he never declined to a point of physical emaciation or physical disfiguration. I’m grateful that our other cat, Miss, and Bardi were able to be a part of the process.
Bardi acknowledged Kain’s passing with a moment of silence. He sat still looking toward Kain for several minutes and sat with us as we prayed. Miss spent the rest of the day quietly on her own. She didn’t eat much in the day or two following but we are establishing a new normal. She’s blossomed and taken his place as my velcro. She is now even more outgoing and affectionate than she already was.
I know this wasn’t anything about horses but as animal lovers I hope you can understand. There is more beyond our lives with horses and our animals, big or small, make a huge part of our lives.
Kain was more than “just a cat” to me. He’s left a huge hole in our world and we are still trying to heal.
Many people might say they’ve had the best cat that’s ever lived. They are all right. I hope that you someday feel that deep connection if you haven’t yet. It’s worth all the sadness to have had love like that.
The Green Horseman 
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