I’ve been quiet since my accident with Stanley at Larkin Hill in June.
I can’t believe that was June 18th…not even summer, technically.
Hang on guys this one’s a bit of a doozy.
Things have been very busy…and not so busy.
I took some time to rest my foot after the injury but was back up and walking on it within the week. It hurt and I couldn’t walk quite normally but I managed. It’s what you do as an equestrian.
I even rode a couple times…only short rides and only flatwork. I was excited to try out my new shirts with my new Standard Issue Equestrian sets. I am pretty pleased with the match!
At the beginning of July, my focus was on my dad. He was scheduled for surgery in Boston to have an esophagectomy. As a reminder, he was diagnosed at the end of January with esophageal cancer. In March he began a very aggressive treatment of radiation daily 5x/week and chemotherapy every Friday for a total of 6 weeks. They treated him aggressively because the tumor was aggressive. At Christmastime, he ate lasagna and by January could no longer eat solid foods. The treatments were very hard on his body so after a couple months of healing he was ready for surgery.
I was blessed by an amazing group called Hospitality Homes setting me up with a donor who opened their home to me. I had access to their basement through a pin code-protected private entry. Down just a few stairs I had access to a full fridge, microwave, laundry, sink, bathroom, and a very comfortable bed. The donor’s home with less than 2.5 miles from the hospital and along a lovely road adjacent to a park and a large pond (big enough for sailboats). At one point I managed to walk over to the park for a look but didn’t walk too far since my foot hurt.
I sat in the hospital’s cafeteria for 8 hours while I waited for updates on the surgery. I sat with Dad in the hospital all 5 days post-surgery from 11-8 (visiting hours). On the 5th day he was released to go home and we left late to get back to Bangor, ME. We made it to Bangor at nearly midnight. I stayed a few days with him as he settled in.
For the days I was in Boston I had packed a lot of meals. I had cold cuts, canned soup, peanut butter, and jelly. For lunch one day I walked across the street and got a poke bowl with ahi tuna. By the 6th day, I hadn’t had a hot meal all week so I wanted a steak. I found a place near the host home and walked there. It was about a half mile which isn’t bad but I still had a bad foot. I ordered a whopping 18oz sirloin (that was just the size they had, there were no smaller options). I sat at the bar and enjoyed a beer while completely demolishing that steak, with no regrets. I walked home with a brick in my gut but I didn’t need a to-go box.
At this point, I realized that my foot wasn’t getting any better. Anything that was minor should be well on its way by now but my foot still felt loose. I couldn’t physically support the weight on the ball of my foot, it just collapsed. I could still feel things (bones? ligaments? something) shifting in there that shouldn’t be. I called a local orthopedic center because, after many disappointing visits to Urgent Care, I refuse to return. I looked up the doctors who specialize in feet and requested them specifically when I called. As if by some miracle one of them had an opening the following Monday (I called on Friday). The woman on the phone told me that he’s booked through August but I happened to call at the right time. After that I found myself a lobster roll (can’t leave Maine without one).
I made my way home to New York. On Monday I went to finally get my foot looked at.
My doctor looked at the foot and sent me for XRays which were done onsite. He returned to tell me I had what’s called a Lisfranc Injury. I learned that the Lisfranc joint complex is a very complex area and injuries include sprains, tears, broken bones dislocations, etc. Ironically he told me Lisfranc initially discovered this by treating injured cavalrymen who fell from their horses (go figure).
I knew immediately I had gone to the right person. He said this is a very subtle injury and easily mistaken for sprains. He showed me on the x-ray how my metatarsals were out of alignment and how displaced the 1st metatarsal (connecting to my big toe) was. Even with him pointing it out it was difficult to see.
Here’s the bummer.
My doctor told me this is not an injury that can heal on its own and that I needed surgery. Recovery is 3-4 months.
AGH!
I was hoping for maybe 6 weeks. Not the rest of the year!
Before I left the office I stopped in to get a stat CT. Before I made it home I got a call from his secretary and we scheduled the surgery for the following Monday. 1 week. Let’s get it over with…by then it will have been 5 weeks since the injury. Before surgery I had bloodwork done, a physical, and an MRI. The whole works. For the week in between I was to wear a boot. The boot was very supportive and I felt like Superwoman.
I had some customers looking for items and managed to get home and build 12 sets of schooling standards, 32 poles, 3 gates, a wall, cover one wall with hedge, and paint 6 poles. I have to admit I was impressed with how much I managed to get done.
The day before surgery we had a family day at Six Flag hosted by my company. The park opened an hour early for my company’s employees and friends. My best friends joined us and we had a blast. We rode on all of the major rides and the Raging River twice. The boys enjoyed spraying other Raging River riders with water after we had gotten considerably soaked. When we left we walked up the street for some famous Martha’s ice cream.
We zipped back home in time to bring my mom to dinner for her 60th birthday. Unbeknownst to my mom I managed to gather a few of her siblings to surprise her at the restaurant. This place, Bentley’s, is known for giving a free wing for every year of someone’s birthday so the ten of us enjoyed 60 free wings along with our other food. She was completely surprised.
The day (and week) before surgery was certainly a last hurrah for a while.
The surgery went well. They gave me a nerve block and sedated me. I woke up fast after and was ready to leave within a half-hour.
My doctor stopped over and told me everything went well. He said my foot was very unstable almost as if he was surprised I had been walking on it. Then he finished by telling me I need a 2nd surgery in 3 months to remove the screws.
COME ON!
I’m writing this a week post-surgery. I’m lucky enough to have a great manager who lets me work from home so I haven’t missed a day. Zac has been wonderful by getting me everything I need and helping with the animals. The indoor animals have been generous in their affections.
My follow-up appointment isn’t until August 15th, so I still have two full weeks before I can hopefully get a boot that lets me walk on my heel. I am currently sporting a hard-ish cast (it’s hard on the bottom and top) and getting really good with crutches. My mom also helped pick me up a pegleg (technically an IWalk) at a fraction of the price from Facebook marketplace. It gives me a little bit of freedom though I won’t be going to long walks anytime soon.
If the bad news isn’t over yet…my beloved cat Kain was just diagnosed with an oral tumor. We’ve had multiple vets look at him and they all seem to agree removal will be risky and could lead to worse issues so they sent us home with drugs to keep him comfortable. We do not know how much time we have left with him.
I adopted Kain in 2012 as a 2-year-old and he’s been my fierce protector ever since. He loves his dad now but he put Zac through the paces to make sure he was worthy. Kain and I have a connection that transcends the relationships I’ve had with any other animal in my life. I can do absolutely anything with/to him and it’s ok.
I am so glad I am able to be home with him right now. He is glued to me morning and night. Not just to help me heal but I think he knows what’s happening with himself, too. The other animals are aware…Bardi is gentle and closer to him. Miss cuddles with him. Kain doesn’t play anymore. He sleeps all the time. He groans a lot and part of me thinks the tumor is probably pushing on his windpipe. He’s still very food oriented. I guess we’ll know it’s time when we lose that. Zac has bought Kain a series of snacks to spoil him with in the meantime. Kain’s enjoying salmon, shrimp, and more.
I can’t bear the thought of losing this little man, but I am dedicated to putting his needs first. When his quality of life is no longer there we will make the call. I met an amazing woman at a horse show last year and as it happens she’s a vet who offers in-home euthanasia. When it’s time we will give him this service to spare him another stressful car trip and to also let our other animals have a chance to get their closure.
Why can’t our animals live forever?
There IS some happy news to all of this.
I talked to my dad yesterday who told me the doctors found NO MORE CANCER!
This was such a relief to hear. Of course, they will continue to monitor him, he has a CT in a couple months. But as of now, he is cancer-free.
I try my hardest to stay positive, and this year has been one of the biggest exercises in finding the positive in negative situations. I keep reminding myself that things COULD have been worse. I was reminded of that after a horrific accident recently at Saratoga horse shows; just a simple bad distance…it’s something we’ve all had happen. I didn’t know the rider personally but I had seen him ride at the Boyd Martin clinic this spring and he was well known and liked. It’s not my story to tell but there are statements from Saratoga Horse shows itself.
Life is fragile. Life is short. Hug your friends, family, and pets and never take a single day for granted. Don’t be the small petty people that I see and work with on a daily basis. Be more than that. Be kind. Love fully. Embrace every moment.
The Green Horseman 
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