Reflections and Looking Forward Pt1

In April I published a post titled Changing Up My Plans and in it, I talked about the goals I gave myself for the year.

As an obligatory New Year’s post, it’s only natural to use this time to reflect on the goals I made and comment on how it turned out.

  • TRAILERING: As a new truck and trailer owner I was very anxious about learning to drive, back and haul. With the help of one of my dearest friends I practiced a few times with an empty trailer. I eventually began to haul the horses but my anxiety transferred to the boys and they became difficult to load. As time progressed we overcame this. I ocaissionally suffered from mild panic attacks as I attempted to back into my driveway. By the end of fall I fearlessly backed the trailer in alone with no guiding eyes and few corrections. I still have a lot to learn but learning to trailer this year was a huge sucess and confidence booster.
  • TAKE LESSONS WITH MY OWN HORSES: As I became proficient with trailering I started to feel comfortable going to the farm for lessons on my own horses. The only caveat is I am not ready to trailer home and back into the driveway in the dark. Daytime lessons are difficult to arrange so we only got in a few lessons in the fall but we did it!
  • CAMP: I really wanted to use my trailer for camping. I have the trailer, the bed with pretty comforter and gel mattress pad. We made it to Otter Creek twice this year and I also camped at the farm one night during the summer.
  • BUY A NEW SADDLE: I had ideas that I needed to have two saddles, one for Nahe and one for Tiger. I love having friends ride with me but it means one of us has to ride western or bareback. I initially wanted to get a ReactorPanel saddle but my financial situation just couldn’t make it happen this year. Instead, I treated myself to a brand new Bates Saddle and even upgraded to the Luxe leather! The saddle is super comfortable and the tree is adjustable. I have been using it on Tiger and he seems to really like it.
  • RIDING: I wanted to strengthen my lower leg position and get up to 2’6″ over fences. This was a bust. I simply didn’t have the drive and interest in it this year and that’s ok. This is still a goal I have and plan to work on it in 2022.
  • DAYWALKING: In the beginning of 2021 I had been on nightshift for over 4 years. Working from 5:45PM to 6:30AM. I finally made it to the dayshift in my job piloting a new role. Fortunately I LOVE my new role and I LOVE working days! My body feels a lot better after the schedule change and I am very well adjusted now.
  • WOODWORKING: I wrote in April that I wanted to make enough money with Wahbee’s Woodworking to afford the new saddle. NAILED IT! I doubled my financial goal this year which really helped to offset the paycut I took when I lost my nightshift differential. I never expected the woodworking route to be so successful.
  • HEALTH: In December 2020 my backpain was so sever I couldn’t stand up straight. I was seen by a chiropractor in April who confirmed that I did NOT have any broken vertebrae from the October accident but I did have a lot of issues. In a matter of weeks I began to feel like myself again. I began with 2 days/week visits and now I am seeing him twice per month. I have more energy and in turn I feel stronger, healthier, and more capable.
  • WEIGHT: In April my goal of losing 25 pounds by November was a very attainable goal. Sadly, it didn’t happen. I won’t say that I failed but I sinmply didn’t make it a priority as I should have. I stayed busy and it fell to the back burner once again. I hate admitting this but it’s time to move on and try again.

To say that I am incredibly proud of myself this year is an understatement. I had some really rough moments but in the end, I grew this year.

I grew in my career; I chose to pursue dayshift and a new role. I have met new people, learned a lot, and have proven that I am an asset to my managers and peers. As it turns out I legitimately love what I do.

I grew my side-hustle; I began the year with a simple Facebook page with my last name. With the help of Zac, I gave the page a name. Wahbee’s Woodworking. I was approached to sponsor a hunter/jumper show series. I met a lot of new faces, tackled a lot of new challenges. I have had to learn to manage my time in order to accomplish it all and I had to learn to say NO when I needed to.

I have grown in my hobby. I have always been fascinated with photography. I purchased a camera in 2020 and have been slowly teaching myself photography. I occasionally take a couple online courses when time allows but mostly I have been practicing, practicing, practicing.

I have grown spiritually by looking within to care for myself. “Self-care” and “Self Love” was a foreign concept to me. I’ve learned to soul search. When I’m unhappy I’ve begun to sit back and dig into that feeling. Why am I unhappy? What is causing my pain? My reflections made me realize that my temper and emotions fall out of whack when my soul is hurting. My triggers are the side effect of larger issues. I didn’t tame it 100% of the time but I felt so much progress in being able to sit back and soul search. Articulating my issues led to a lot of healing.

Self-care also led me to look inside myself to find what my true needs and wants are. I was always worried about making others happy that I forgot about what I wanted and needed. I listened to my body and allowed myself to rest when I need it… guilt-free. Not all the time, but most of the time. I realized that I get to set my pace and do what best suits me. We all face peer pressure from others and I am the type who wants to do it all. I want to make others happy. When people pressured me into riding I finally realized “no, that’s not what I need or want right now.” Riding actually became a chore for me and it should NEVER feel that way considering it isn’t my career. So I took a month or two off. So what? It was better for me at that time and my horses didn’t mind.

Life isn’t perfect, and 2021 was one of the real lousy years. We are still amidst a pandemic, the problems with society are worsening, the economy is in crisis.

Instead of crumbling to the intense negativity, this world has to offer I do my best to highlight and elevate the good there is to celebrate. Negativity will always breed more negativity but if you can find the silver linings and let the light things get better. You don’t need to ignore the bad, or even drown it out. You don’t need to numb the pain with drugs or other things. Look for the good and bring it out. It isn’t easy but it’s worth it.

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