Despite how absent I was last year I was still very active. I have a lot to make up for and a lot to share in our Sunday Reviews!
I don’t always have a lot of time to sit down and read…and most horse books aren’t available through my local library’s audiobook platform.
That said, last summer I read a book that resonated with me and changed a lot about my equestrian (and non-equestrian) life. The book is Ride Big written by John Haime published by Trafalgar Square books in 2021.
John Haime is a human performance coach. He began his career as a professional golfer and turned to coaching and psychology. He has helped athletes make incredible breakthroughs in the NFL, NHL, NBA, and MLS as well as some top-level equestrians.
As one who systemically suffers from confidence issues time and time again, I took the opportunity to snatch this book up and read it. Shortly after reading the book, I got to meet John at Equine Affaire and he signed my copy!
Get your copy now at Trafalgar Square Books
John begins Ride Big with explaining what he means by “Riding Big” and “Riding Small.” In essence, riding big means you are trying to win, have confidence, are committed to your process, and more….you “grow in the saddle.” Riding Small means you play it safe, get distracted by the outcome, trying not to lose, be filled with doubt, use a fraction of your abilities. In other words, you “shrink in the saddle.”
Through the first part of the book, John challenges you with interactive exercises to help you with self-discovery. He challenges you to learn about your confidence, know your values, and find your triggers. He also spends a lot of time discussing your inner voice.
For example, many of us are very hard on ourselves…myself being no exception. I recently had a difficult show. I fell off in cross country, my horse galloped back to the trailer a half mile away, and I was injured. My horse had a lot of anxiety at the trailer alone and ripped off the trailer not once but twice. My natural voice COULD say I’m a terrible rider, terrible horseman, and shouldn’t have ever fooled myself into doing this show; what was I thinking that I could train a horse. Instead, thanks to Jamie, I actually felt like this:
“We had a lot of improvements at this show; there was tension in dressage but he softened a little bit towards the end of our test. Our stadium round went well and we had a very relaxed walk over to XC. Cross country started amazing and between #1 and #2 we had a beautiful canter. We celebrated a little too hard up the hill and I fell. It was a mistake that shows we both need more terrain training. Stanley was a lot more anxious at this show but to be fair this was the busiest show and there were a lot of green beans there too. This show exposed some opportunities to slow down and work on getting him comfortable away from home without his brother. Maybe I can trailer him to a friend’s place for a lesson or some terrain work when I get back in the saddle.”
I won’t lie I still have the bad thoughts creeping in, especially being stuck in a recliner for days resting my foot…I don’t idle well. But when those thoughts surface I remind myself of the lessons I learned from Ride Big.
In the second part of the book, John begins to introduce tools for building your confidence. Probably one of the most important of this part, at least for me, is developing strong emotional muscles. John reminds us that our horses are highly sensitive and our emotions “become the performance catalyst for you and your partner.”
…having the ability to flex your emotional muscles can often be the difference in both acheivement and enjoyment in equestrian sport. Building your emotional muscles will help you leverage all of your talent, training, and effort.
John Haime – Riding Big
In this chapter, John introduces the 10-second rule where you essentially give yourself 10 seconds to process an emotion. During this exercise, you become aware of your emotion, label it, slow down to process it, and decide if you want to stay in that emotion or change it. If you want to move on, give your brain a new task…John recommends top 10s (favorite horse breeds, movies, books, etc).
Another huge takeaway from part 2 is the comfort zone. In Ride Big John references the Yerkes Dodson Law that explains the relationship between stress and performance. I’ve known this law for a long time but never actually knew about the study. John states that being “‘too relaxed’ does not allow you to have the right level of focus to perform in a complex environment like the show ring or polo field. Too much stress will impact the way your body performs and creates a feeling of being overwhelmed.”
The third section of Ride Big discusses the barriers to success. This section addressed fear, pressure, perfectionism, and “modern traps.”
Perfectionism stifles confidence. Perfectionsists subconsciously undermine their own confidence. It’s just simply difficult to build confidence when there is consistent focus on making mistakes-or not making them-and a hyperfocus on the outcome of performance.
John Haime – Ride Big
One of my lifelong traps has always been perfectionism. I always say “I’m a recovering perfectionist.” In that specific chapter, John dispels perfectionism and introduces excellence. The concept of excellence has been fundamental in my life…and it’s led to a lot of successes, triumphs, and happiness.
Just remember that perfectionism with a healthy dose of judgement will erase your confidence and ensure that you ride small. Excellence with a healthy dose of acceptance will encourage confidence and gove you the best chance of Riding Big.
John Haime – Ride Big
Ride Big by John Haime is a well-structured book and a guide for becoming your best self. It doesn’t matter if you want to be competitive or not, it simply challenges you to know who you are and to make goals that meet your specific values. It challenges you to follow your own path using your own set of ideas and structure. It shows you how to restructure your negative self-talk and navigate through common barriers. It’s a roadmap, but one that needs your input. Everyone’s path is going to be different but John gives you the tools to make it your own.
This book is suitable for people of all ages and in all disciplines. He has interviewed equestrians from the top of the sport and helped many others. He’s most certainly helped me.
I also want to add that I buy most of my horse books from Trafalgar Square books. This happens to be one of such books. You can find your copy through my affiliate link here, it’ll let TSB know I sent you!
The Green Horseman 
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