I love eventing. I love dressage. I love jumping. But this year I’ve been struggling to find what I want to do with Stanley. Seeing eventing a lot more I love the crowd, the people, the events, but I loved being an owner of the horse being ridden by someone else. I have trouble believing it’s a sport I can tackle at a recognized level as a rider. I will still train cross country and dressage and stadium. I might do schooling trials to test the water…but as a rider, I’ve been feeling a little lost.
One of my biggest enemies is the ugly word called perfectionism. As a lifelong perfectionist, I’m pretty proud of where I am today. I often celebrate the little wins and my goal is excellence instead of perfection (thanks to The Sunday Review: Ride Big: The Ultimate Guide to Building Equestrian Confidence By John Haime). That said I can take it too personally when I have a setback. Mentally I know that training horses is a nonlinear path, but setbacks often lead to me down the rabbit hole of negative self-talk…and we know that never leads to getting better.
Throughout this year Stanley and I explored western dressage as we awaited our English saddles to come in. It was so much fun.
I also noticed how ring-sour Stanley gets when I train dressage all the time; that’s not good for anyone. Our training led outside to our field conditioning rides. During the summer when horses are turned out overnight, I had the pleasure of riding through all of the fields and pastures. We’d even take some baby cross-country jumps and he was thrilled. He’s never happier than when we are cruising around the fields together. He’s attentive and engaged. I have yet to get him out for a cross-country schooling lesson, but it seems like a suitable next-year goal.
Stanley is also quite brave about approaching new tasks. He could care less about our faux ditch, doesn’t care about tarps or Liverpool, he’ll open and close gates (but I’m too short and he’s too tall for us to latch them), and he’ll cross bridges placed on a pole that teeters.
With everything he’s seemed to enjoy, I’ve been considering exploring some disciplines that might not be as mainstream but might be interesting to him. I’m never one to stick with any one thing to begin with so next year we might become a little more well-rounded. With Blade I never had this opportunity…I had to retire Nahe before we had the chance to explore a whole lot…Tiger has found his soulmate in Suzanne…so Stanley is the first horse I can truly explore all the ways life with horses can offer. And boy are there a lot of options!
Everything I have chosen to explore are disciplines that make sense for Stanley and I, can make us better in eventing overall regardless of whether we pursue eventing, and have been interests of mine for years.
The first of which is endurance riding. Not necessarily the 50s and 100s, but limited-distance rides. Ten miles, fifteen, maybe in a few years twenty-five. The idea of being with my horse and on a journey excites me.
I’ve also been considering exploring working equitation. It combines dressage with the obstacles in a multiphase format. It will allow us to continue our dressage training and help him use his body properly while stimulating his mind with obstacles. I’ve also read that sometimes cattle are used for one of the phases in working equitation. I’ve cow sorted before on other horses, but it might be fun to introduce Stanley to cows as well.
It seems 2025 might be a busy year for us if we do indeed explore these options! But I think the variety will truly help us create a better partnership. We will see a lot of things in controlled and safe settings, we will work over a lot of different terrain and footing. He still needs to travel more to overcome travel stress so I intend to keep to my 2-3 trips per month and keep them happy productive trips if I can help it.
Last month we had the honor of hosting Andrea Waldo to our farm for our first clinic(We Had A Clinic). We brought her back this month for an in-house lesson day…we had seven riders and some fantastic moments in each lesson!
With our last lesson Stanley did well but was notably amped; a stark contrast from the horse I rode at our clinic. I got to work with Andrea through this as my lizard brain kept wanting to take control. Stanley has been going through a funk and without me knowing what the problem is I second guess anything I do with him. Andrea helped me sort it out and put the pieces together…helping me realize that sometimes you just have to have the discussions with him and help him realize he still needs to do the job. Our dressage trainer Krystal has also been crucial with this and we often say “Embrace the suck.” It helps to have an educated instructor whom I trust…because I still can’t trust myself.
As we wind down for the season we have been strangely blessed with lovely weather. Other years we’d have a foot of snow on the ground by now so we don’t plan for November travel. This past weekend we had some beautiful weather and no plans. My thunder buddy had plans to audit a clinic in Vermont, and the clinic I had interest in filled before I could confirm my spot (truck troubles).
Well, I had my truck fixed in time, a hole in my schedule, a beautiful 50 degree day, and permission to use the trailer…what now? Most trails are not safe with hunting season underway so the pickings are slim. I’ve been wanting to ride Saratoga Battlefield all year. I love the footing and the hills it provides. Suzanne never cared for it since it is out and back (we do prefer a loop). I thought about inviting others from the barn and would have happily brought them with us but as I thought about our goals I decided it was time to tackle something that has been scaring me from pursuing these new goals of mine. Solo trips.
As a safety precaution and as a creature comfort I don’t like traveling with horses alone. It’s uncomfortable and the mind can go through so many “what ifs.” That being said I intend to explore a lot next year with Stanley and I may not always have my thunder buddy or a companion to travel with. Riding on trails solo needs to be a skill both Stanley and I have under our belts to become the well-rounded partnership I envision.
Sunday came and I got the trailer hooked up and loaded my saddle, tack, brushes, and hay bag. Stanley got right on and we were on our way to Saratoga Battlefield. The 30-minute drive wasn’t bad at all, and when we arrived there were 3 other trailers around the parking lot. I parked, unloaded and started to get Stanley ready. About the time I got the saddle on and cinched up, he began to get really nervous. His head was on a swivel as he saw distant cyclists and cars going along the battlefield tour road. I untied him from the trailer and brought him over to the entrance for a better look. It didn’t help a whole lot, so I walked back to the trailer, put on my helmet, bridled him, and put the rope halter on over the bridle. I threw the reins over his neck and started up the trail with him walking by my side.
As we got up to the top of the first hill Stanley took a deep breath. He was able to see the house in the distance and the road where the cars and cyclists were passing by. Being able to see the top of the hill seemed to relax him, he now knew nothing was coming down the hill to eat him. He took a few bites of grass and I got a chance to breathe too. At our clinic with Andrea, we learned “balloon soup” breathing… I use it all the time and it normally works well…but he can tell when it’s genuine and sees past the breathing if I’m truly worried.
Since he seemed to come back down enough to graze I walked him back down the hill and used the picnic table to get on. We began our trail ride as a horse and rider team. This was already a decent win since my initial plan was to hike with him in hand as needed.
Stanley and I trotted a little it through the fields and he really began to catch his stride. We walked through the woods, over the roadsides without any trouble. I asked him to walk up and down hills to engage his muscles…not easy for him to do but he understood the assignment. We crossed a rocky dried-up stream (he may have jumped half of it). We trotted along a nice long strip through the woods and came across a pair of riders. We greeted each other and made our way on. They were heading home and Stanley and I continued our way out.
The crossing paths with other horses rattled Stanley a little bit but he didn’t lose his marbles. I kept him forward in the direction I wanted to go and he obeyed. About 10 minutes later we approached another road but by this point, we were at 45 minutes and Stanley was OVER IT. He was getting very upset and his body started to feel acrobatic underneath me. I calmly brought him to the road so we could turn around on my terms. As soon as we turned around he thought it was an invitation to run home.
It was not.
He never took off with me but he was hyped and not having my half halts at this point. So, instead of holding him back anytime he wanted to trot off we did a tight circle (one rein stop style without actually stopping). I was impressed with myself by how cool I was through this whole situation. There were canons in the field we were in adding to his dilemma. I tried to keep my trainers in mind and also used some tools from Sinead when I rode with her in June. In that clinic he was fresh and anxious so she gave me tools to help. her point was to be the fun one. Do what he wants to do but on your terms. I’ve been having a hard time all year figuring out how to apply it in other situations. But here it seemed to make sense to me.
When her trotted off unplanned I spun him. He trotted off again I spun him the other way. I turned him around with zero emotion attached and remained calm and matter-of-fact. Anytime he offered to walk forward I let him and praised him. After about ten circles he realized he could in fact go straight toward home and toward the horses if he WALKED. He didn’t test it a single time after that. I praised him and asked him for a trot…he happily obliged…and he willingly walked when I asked him to.
We traversed the rocky creek bed again and he was careful and did not jump it this time.
We walked back, trotted some, walked some. When we exited the forest and into the fields at the beginning of the trail we could see the two horses ahead of us. We made good time catching up to them! I was hoping they’d have had enough time to get back. But seeing them in the distance is all Stanley wanted. He didn’t care about racing up to them, didn’t get hot about it, he just walked forward happily with his ears pricked. He’d have loved to race up if I asked for it but he never tested me. We trotted through one of the flat/slightly uphill sections of the field. On my app, it registered as canter but it was a beautiful forward trot.
We finished the trail as the couple were dismounting their horses. In the parking lot we had a chance to introduce ourselves and chat for a bit. They were impressed that we went out alone. I wanted to say “ME TOO!” We successfully accomplished a solo trail ride in one piece and that was such a HUGE win in my book. I exchanged numbers with the woman who exercises racehorses (SO COOL!) so we can potentially ride together in the future.
What an amazing day!
So much fear and anxiety lingered around the thought of trail riding alone. Using tools that I’ve acquired from Andrea Waldo, my dressage trainer Krystal Wilt, and Sinead Halpin Maynard we were able to tame the lizard brain enough to make it happen safely and successfully. I loaded Stanley with a huge smile on my face. I wouldn’t celebrate until he was home and the trailer was clean and put away…both of those skills might I add scared the hell out of me 2 years ago.
I sit back and think about it…my twelve-year-old self would be in awe. Amazed at what I’ve done and what I’m doing. I thought this was only a distant dream when I was younger. I longed to be “one of those cool horse people” who went out and explored the world and did stuff with their horses. A friend of mine actually told me her daughters were thinking of me Sunday and said they dreamed of doing that one day. Wow. I think my heart grew three sizes.
This trip gave me some needed confidence. We still have several solo trips to do before I feel truly secure with it but we ripped off the bandaid and accomplished our first one. Considering we did 6 miles in less than an hour and a half at mostly walk I’m confident I can get him fit and ready for a limited-distance ride next year.
This weekend I tamed my lizard brain even if just a skoch (but it wasn’t just a skoch let’s be honest).
What are some things that scare you a little? What are some activities that you’d like to try if you can tackle your lizard brain?
If you haven’t already I highly recommend Andrea Waldo’s book Brain Training for Riders. This is where I got the term “lizard brain” and the book has transformed my life after getting deeply anxious in 2020. You can read my article here (The Sunday Review: Brain Training For Riders by Andrea Monsarrat Waldo).
The Green Horseman 
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